They Call Me T'Ford

That's right, the one and only T'Ford. The person who can be funny, sarcastic, truthful and a bitch all in one sentence. Point proven.

Some of you may know me, most of you will not. A lot of you will think you know me, but only two people in the entire world know me near head to toe. Several of you have spoken to me, or socialize in some way (mostly being the internet), while there are some that can claim you know me both online and IRL. That however serves no purpose because I'm not really popular among crowds online or off. I just have to pretend sometimes to boost the self-esteem. (T.T)

So as Christmas is around the corner, and New Years is only a few doors down after that, I have been thinking about my last New Years Resolution. I probably kept to it for about...a day. I told myself I would be nicer to people, then it condensed down into "I will try to be nicer." Now it's something to the extent of "People? I hate people." I have finally decided I'm not even going to try to please everyone, nor much of anyone. In fact, fuck them. Instead, I am going to be more of myself, more of what makes me the T'Ford. My New Years Resolution is going to be "Just be yourself. Be T'Ford."

I can already tell a lot of people are going to have to back up from me because this is going to come as a shock and one rude fucking awakening. This is going to happen to the people who think they know me, but really don't (primary people who talk to me often online and think they know everything there is about T'Ford). People IRL are going to say "YAY!!!! She's back from the dead!" and throw a big party. The Bible Humping Christians are going "fuuuuck." The Mormons are thinking "why does Polygamy have to be illegal?" And the whole city is about to collapse. The two who know me better than I know myself are going "as long as you don't break our rules or the law, have fun....(what are we supposed to do?)" and in the long run I will probably see the front, back, side, middle, corner, toes, webbing and rubber soul of a flipper. That's how things work out nowadays. Story of my life.

My new mottos for this rebirthing of T'Ford are "It'll/I'll/You'll (they're interchangable) be alright" and "I juuusssst doooon't giiiiive a fuuuuck!" Which are better used in context than as a generalization. I do give a fuck about some things, and not everything will be alright. This is why they call me T'Ford. Well, actually they call my T'Ford because my last name doesn't really go with anything, flow off the tongue and can be pretty gay at times because it's so dull. Whatever.

I'm T'Ford, and this has been your daily dose of nothing important and what is probably a waste of 5 minutes compared to that essay of yours you haven't even started yet. Procrastination....ahh, one of my best qualities and favorite things to do. That's a story for next time. And until then, I bid you all a Happy Holiday and a Merry New Year.

-T'Ford

Shuthefuckuphobia

Coulrophobia. Sounds serious, right? Surprisingly enough, this phobia, or abnormal/irrational/exaggerated fear of clowns is not taken very seriously by people. But it is in fact a very serious issue for those who have this phobia.

Having a phobia of any sort has the potential to make life a living hell, or be very minor and a mere obstacle. Some people understand it and respect the fact that it is a legitimate fear. After all, any person who has to dress up in five sizes too big pantaloons (which have been out of style for centuries), a wig, a big red ball nose and lots and lots of make up to paint a fake smile, jump and dance around, act like a MORON just to get attention, make even just the youngest, smallest child smile or mayhaps stifle a laugh is so pathetic, it's rather scary. In fact, the only thing worse than a zombie apocalypse would be a clown apocalypse (and it would completely suck balls if it were zombie-clowns). But all that is beside the point. Maybe. Actually, it rather makes my point clearer. Clowns are scary.

So that said, I would like to point out that I am deathly afraid of clowns. Just recently there was a mention of clowns, someone pasted me a link, I clicked on it and before the picture even finished loading I screamed, closed it and started having a panic attack. I hate clowns. Someone I trust, who knows me very well actually sent me a picture of a clown, knowing that they are my biggest fear. All I can say to that is I hope you had a good laugh, because I didn't find it funny. I've hated clowns since the age of four. My sister made me watch the movie IT at like 3 in the morning with a bunch of her friends, which they terrorized me all during the movie and after it. All. Night. Long. Now, I am known for having a bit of an overactive and sometimes explicit imagination. Bet you can figure out how well that's worked out for me. I have my reasons for hating clowns, and it really pisses me off when no one takes it seriously.

What makes me even more angry is when I see it happen to other people. Why does no one ever take Coulrophobia seriously? I'm ok if you ignore it, sure. But when it gets to the point you intentionally do things to scare the living shit out of people, that's crossing a line. Grow the heck up. I hear stories from kids that tell me about an older sibling, a friend, parent or relative that will set up these big pranks for the soul purpose of just scaring them. It's one thing to scare them wearing a mask, rawr, jump out of nowhere type of thing, but when you actually devise a "prank" that contains something they fear even just at the sight of, enough is enough. Someone linking a picture of a clown to another kid because they saw someone else do it to a different person and knowing it scared the fuck out of them, the person who linked a picture to the first kid, people putting on a clown mask and coming up behind you, tapping on your shoulder in the middle of class. That's crossing a line.

So yeah, this is what's on my mind because it seems as of late people want to dress up as clowns or send me pictures of them just to scare me. Three times in the past two weeks I've had panic attacks because these people wanted a simple laugh. It's sad, because most of the time this happens from people you love, know and trust; people who you wouldn't expect to do something of that nature to you because they know you and love you enough not to exploit such fears and even faults for some. Not such a big deal if it is a person who honestly does not knowing of your fears. I mean, how are they really supposed to know not to dress up as a werewolf because this person has never met you in their life and knows that you are afraid of werewolves?

Big deal to me, and I'm sorry for the people out there who experience this thing on a basis more common than it ought to be, be it clowns, spiders, heights, darkness, water, needles, etc. And on a happier note, I'll end with a quote:

"WHY would you ruin cheese by putting broccoli in it??!"

-My AP Biology teacher

-T'Ford